I mean, jeez...it seemed to be the ultimate sacrifice, really. The stretch marks, the round ligament pain, the morning sickness...and then the sagging boobs, the mis-shapen hoo-haa, the hair loss and the 3am feedings. It all added up to this:
If you have a uterus and have used it, you are a freaking hero.
Now, after my own experience with all of these things, it doesn't seem so heroic. It just seems normal. I have a son, and he cries at 3am sometimes. Occasionally, he barfs down the front of my shirt. My hoo-haa will never be the same and my boobs are pointing toward hell itself.
And, you know what? I am loving every single moment.
However, it did not occur to me until just recently that I am now a member of the momma club. I am one of THOSE women. We are the sisterhood of the stretched snapper. A sleepless army. We are woman, hear us roar. :)
I now smile knowingly to myself when someone who doesn't have any children says anything about motherhood, or has an opinion about something momma related. That was me once. I had NO idea. I wasn't going to have the epidural...I was going to cloth diaper and breastfeed. I was going to spring blithely out of my hospital bed immediately after birth, and my boobs? My boobs were gonna stay perky, dammit.
The best laid plans always get diligently buried in the litterbox.
My water broke at 5:45am on the 20th of October and Jude was born at 1:53pm on the 21st of October. I got morphine after laboring intensely for 20 hours, and an epidural after 24 hours.
I froze too much (all the up to my neck), and when Jude finally came, my body was a wreck. I did not spring out of bed. In fact, I fell on the way to the washroom.
Breastfeeding was a no-go. Jude is lactose intolerant. Cloth diapering? As soon as his bum grows into the cloth diapers I purchased, I will let you know.
I believe I already mentioned my boobs.
Aside from being a wonderful lesson in humility, and the most painful, mind-numbing thing I have ever experienced...giving birth was truly empowering. Beautiful. I would do it again a hundred million times.
It's something I didn't know I was capable of, even though the female body is designed to grow and nurture human life. No woman can really know until she has experienced it for herself.
Therein lies the momma club. A wealth of knowlege and understanding. The advice my mother received from her mother, and so on, and so on, will be passed down to my own child(ren?) when it is time. Same goes for the advice I have received from all the other mothers out there.
So, ladies? From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your support, your words, your photos and your truths. I am a better mother because of you.
And now, since I have a hard time publishing a post without photographically bragging about my son: