1) Kate Gosselin. Just her name ticks me off.
2) Improper use of quotation marks.
This particular irritation began a few years ago when I went to pick my cat Rory up from the vet. On his carrier was a little "Hello, My Name Is" sticker, and the sticker read:
"Rory".
Why the quotation marks? Rory is not just what we're calling him these days. It's his name. I mean...I know that in the cat world his name is likely something different, like Zoomba, slayer of small creatures...or YYYYYYEEEEEEEoooooOOOOOOOOOOOwwwwwWWWWWWW, eater of moths. But, he is Rory to me.
After I had Jude, this sickness seemed to have infected several friends and family members as well. I cannot tell you how many cards were inscribed as such:
To Baby "Jude".
I can just picture the air quotes. What? His name isn't really Jude? What is it, then...because I should surely be calling him by his proper name.
But the crowning glory?
The use of quotation marks to emphasize a word. For example:
What a "beautiful" day!!!
*stomp-stomp-fume*
(At this juncture, I would like to mention that I am aware that my grammar is not always perfect. I am much too fond of asterisks, parentheses and ellipses. I pepper my written conversations with emoticons and am never completely sure what to do with a comma, BUT...it's my blog. *grin*) <----a perfect example of my imperfect writing style.
3) The fact that gravity works on everything but my underwear. WHY must it always ride up, even as my boobs succumb to gravity's relentless pull?
4) The fact that my can of formula tells me that breastmilk is best for my baby:
I know. I failed at breastfeeding and I feel terrible about it as it is. Why rub it in?
My mother and I were at BabiesRUs a month or so ago, and she picked up an Evenflo bottle-gripper thingy because she wondered what it was. Right underneath the Evenflo logo, it said "Breastmilk is the best nutrition for your baby". You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I am tired of seeing these little reminders everywhere. There is more than enough guilt placed on moms as it is. Why add to it? And, what if I was using my bottle-gripper thingy on a bottle full of breastmilk?
5) Do you ever watch What Not To Wear?
I canNOT stand it when the wardrobe malfunctions turned fashion plates model-walk. I squirm. I comment on it every time. WHY is she twirling around a lamp post? WHAT is she doing to that hydrant? Something about those fake smiles and stiff-legged saunters make me twitch and flail.
Case in point: (the insanity REALLY begins at 3:47!)
(Stacy and Clinton would totally toss my entire wardrobe because
3 comments:
The quotes... Seriously? Baby "Jude"? Maybe everyone who added the quotes thought that you'd change his name if you saw that they weren't attached to it yet.
On a bottle that came with my breast pump it said "Contents: 100% Breast Milk". Duh. It does suck that you feel like you're constantly reminded of your "failure" (note the use of quotes to imply sarcasm) to breastfeed. Look at it this way... You can get drunk at 3:00 in the afternoon and not worry about how it's going to affect Jude's liver at his next feeding time. It's a win!
I hate that fashion part at the end too!!!!
Darling, "what" are you talking about?
:)
I absolutely loathe so much about What Not to Wear, it's ridiculous. As in, I get physically ill just thinking about the money they throw away and the righteous way that they shred people's choices of clothing. Because THEIR way is the ONLY way of dressing, naturally. AND AND AND! What about people like me? People who don't have $5000 a year to spend on DESIGNER clothing that requires tailors and dry cleaning? People like me who MIGHT HAVE $50 a year to spend on clothing?
ooooohhh. I hate that show.
And what was with that shirt that they okayed? It looked like there were breasts in the fabric's design. Did no one else notice that??
Cynthia: Sarcasm quotes are acceptable in my book. :)
As for getting drunk...lol...that is VERY true. Way to make me feel better, even if the alcohol is completely theoretical.
Tracey: I know, right? Stacy and Clinton make fun of the poor fashion victims, when the reality is that they likely just could not afford to dress like frickin' celebrities.
That $5000 is kinda like giving a starving child a chocolate bar an then ridiculing them for never having tasted chocolate before. It's not good for them, for one...and it won't last. Just gives them a taste of something they probably won't ever taste again.
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