1) Kate Gosselin. Just her name ticks me off.
2) Improper use of quotation marks.
This particular irritation began a few years ago when I went to pick my cat Rory up from the vet. On his carrier was a little "Hello, My Name Is" sticker, and the sticker read:
Why the quotation marks? Rory is not just what we're calling him these days. It's his name. I mean...I know that in the cat world his name is likely something different, like Zoomba, slayer of small creatures...or YYYYYYEEEEEEEoooooOOOOOOOOOOOwwwwwWWWWWWW, eater of moths. But, he is Rory to me.
After I had Jude, this sickness seemed to have infected several friends and family members as well. I cannot tell you how many cards were inscribed as such:
To Baby "Jude".
I can just picture the air quotes. What? His name isn't really Jude? What is it, then...because I should surely be calling him by his proper name.
But the crowning glory?
The use of quotation marks to emphasize a word. For example:
What a "beautiful" day!!!
(At this juncture, I would like to mention that I am aware that my grammar is not always perfect. I am much too fond of asterisks, parentheses and ellipses. I pepper my written conversations with emoticons and am never completely sure what to do with a comma, BUT...it's my blog. *grin*) <----a perfect example of my imperfect writing style.
3) The fact that gravity works on everything but my underwear. WHY must it always ride up, even as my boobs succumb to gravity's relentless pull?
4) The fact that my can of formula tells me that breastmilk is best for my baby:
I know. I failed at breastfeeding and I feel terrible about it as it is. Why rub it in?
My mother and I were at BabiesRUs a month or so ago, and she picked up an Evenflo bottle-gripper thingy because she wondered what it was. Right underneath the Evenflo logo, it said "Breastmilk is the best nutrition for your baby". You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I am tired of seeing these little reminders everywhere. There is more than enough guilt placed on moms as it is. Why add to it? And, what if I was using my bottle-gripper thingy on a bottle full of breastmilk?
5) Do you ever watch What Not To Wear?
I canNOT stand it when the wardrobe malfunctions turned fashion plates model-walk. I squirm. I comment on it every time. WHY is she twirling around a lamp post? WHAT is she doing to that hydrant? Something about those fake smiles and stiff-legged saunters make me twitch and flail.
Case in point: (the insanity REALLY begins at 3:47!)
(Stacy and Clinton would totally toss my entire wardrobe because