- Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
- Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
- No animal shall wear clothes.
- No animal shall sleep in a bed.
- No animal shall drink alcohol.
- No animal shall kill any other animal.
- All animals are equal.
Around here, these commandments are broken repeatedly. The dog has more outfits than I do, and the animals clearly sleep in the beds. The cats hunt the denizens of the backyard (especially those with wings), and Squeaker (the elderly matriarch) beats on Rory (the youngish upstart) frequently.
The only thing they don't do is drink alcohol. But if we let them, they would.
Pretty soon they will be walking on two legs and morphing into creatures more like human beings.
If they decide to take over, we are royally screwed.