Aug 24, 2009


So, there is this guy I work with. A real mouth-breather. A real mouth-breather whose middle and last name are the same...(which is not his fault at all...just worth mentioning)

Anyway, Mr. mouth-breather and I were having a discussion about reincarnation. Please do not ask how the topic came up because I cannot remember, exactly...just that it had something to do with being bored to death at work.

Our little conversation went something like this:

Mouth-breather: Do you believe in reincarnation ?

Me: In some ways, yes. I'd like to think that I could come back as something or someone completely, I think it would be really cool to live in Jupiter's atmosphere.

Mouth-breather: Wouldn't you rather be part of the sun so that your energy could live on forever?

Me: Energy changes from one form to heat to mechanical...but it can never dissipate. So, no matter what, the energy that was once me would live on somewhere. I would just rather be a conscious creature...even an ant, or a naked mole rat.

Mouth-breather: Wouldn't it be cool if we could be reincarnated into the past instead of the present or the future?...

Me: (Thinking that this is actually a brilliant concept and lamenting the fact that I never thought of it before. I mean, hell...I could come back as Mary Magdalene, or Sylvia Plath, or Kurt Cobain. Time does not have to be linear. Maybe there are all these alternate realities piled on top of one another like philo pastry and we can skip from layer to layer! Mouth-breather is smarter than I thought...)

Mouth-breather:, for example, I could go back to when the original N64 was released.

Me: *banging head on desk*

Gotta hand it to him...his wants and needs are simple. He wishes to go back to September 1996 and play Starfox on his brand spanking new N64.

Godspeed, buddy. If you ever get there, maybe alternate universe me will share her console, and introduce you to "Conker's Bad Fur Day".

But only if you learn to breathe with your mouth closed. :)

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